Phil Proctor
— Christian A. Broder
Howard Hesseman
— Senator McMannus
Dan Barrows
— Senator Polanski
Stephen Feinberg
— Proctologist
Chevy Chase
— Chevy Chase
John Candy
— Cooper
Tom Davis
— Tom
Ron Silver
— Dr. Manuel Labor
Ernie Anderson
— Quant O'Neill / Subway Reporter / Announcer
Edwina Gough
— Melanie Edwards
Kurt Andon
— Man at breakfast / Doctor
Lorry Goldman
— Pierre Skooché / Son
Lynne Marie Stewart
— Marie
Gerrit Graham
— Freddie
Pamela Toll
— Street Attendant / Father
Betty Thomas
— Bridgit Bert Richards
Joe Flaherty
— Carl Michaelevich
Mary McCusker
— Carol / Butch Girl
Pat Proft
— Skipper
Murphy Dunne
— Dwayne / Dr. Holcomb
Bart Williams
— Smilin' Ed McDonnelly
Roger Bowen
— Henry Kissinger
Al Franken
— Al
Nellie Bellflower
— Girl / Mrs. Pat Borzak / Announcer
Frank von Zerneck
— Winfield Carmichael
Doug Steckler
— Pregnant Man
Rebecca Brooks
— Weather Girl
William Schallert
— Francis X. Cody
Howard Storm
— Ralph Stevens
Bob McClurg
— CIA Man / R.C. Call