Keith Allen
— Roy Brush
Peter Richardson
— Kevin
Antony Sher
— Scum Editor
Chris Hargreaves
— Leslie
Nigel Planer
— Club Chairman/Waiter
Paul Moriarty
— Club Manager
Simon McBurney
— Mick
Sara Stockbridge
— Janet
Robert Carwithen
— Terry
Phil Cornwell
— Jimmy Twizzle/Wiggy
William Armstrong
— Sports Presenter
Sandra Voe
— Roy's Mother
Martha Ross
— Leslie's Mother
Mark Caven
— Dick Wibbly
David Cardy
— Trevor Moulton
Gary Beadle
— Wazza
Jimmy Fagg
— Lift Man
Malcolm Hardee
— Meat Trade Spokesman
Neville Watson
— Punter in Hotel
Gavin Watson
— Punter in Hotel
Tom Armstrong
— Barman
Doon Mackichan
— Nurse
Nicole Fitzpatrick
— 2nd Nurse
Fergus McLarnon
— Doctor
Glen Colson
— Ambulance Man
Jonathan Stratt
— Doorman
Bill Russell
— Recording Engineer
Mark Frankyln
— DJ
Jonathan Pearce
— Self - Commentator
Robert Borgars
— Footballer