Tom Hollander
— William Jones
Christopher Guard
— John Diamond
Robert James
— David Jones
Eileen Page
— Mrs. Jones
Charles Lewsen
— Uncle Turner
Vanessa Paine
— Rebecca
Damien Nash
— Shot-in-the-Head
David Rappaport
— Mr. Seed
Patrick Troughton
— Joseph K'Nee
Joseph O'Conor
— Alfred Diamond
Paul Mari
— Jenkins
John Colclough
— Mr. Walker
Steve Fletcher
— Liverguts
Geoffrey Collins
— Narrator