Blackball

Paul Kaye

— Cliff Starkey

Johnny Vegas

— Trevor

James Cromwell

— Ray Speight

Bernard Cribbins

— Mutley

Alice Evans

— Kerry

Vince Vaughn

— Rick Schwartz

Imelda Staunton

— Bridget

James Fleet

— Alan the Pipe

Kenneth Cranham

— Chairman Collins

Ian McNeice

— Hugh The Sideburns

David Ryall

— Giles Wilton

Terry Alderton

— Bouncer Jonno

Meredith MacNeill

— Suzi

Emma Amos

— Local News Reporter

Paul Bentall

— Gate Guard

Neil Conrich

— Reporter Dave

Pamela Cundell

— OAP

Josie D'Arby

— Herself

Mark Dymond

— Kyle Doohan

Mark Little

— Mark Doohan

Rosie Ede

— The Cleaner

Neil Finnighan

— MTV Awards Stunt Guy

Christopher Godwin

— Bowls Official

Howard Goorney

— Reg Boyt

Ian Lindsay

— Dull Referee

Angus Loughran

— Himself

Nigel Lindsay

— Targitex Chairman

David Schneider

— Young Buck Reporter

Geoffrey McGivern

— Brian Cronk

Felicity Montagu

— Astronomy Professor