Ernest Borgnine
— Albert
Zachary Abel
— Justin Palma
Natasha Lyonne
— Mrs. Keaton
Ahney Her
— Nikki
Mickey Rooney
— Jerry Sherman
Sally Kellerman
— Dorothy
Bryan Williams
— Chris Brown
Daniel Roebuck
— Frank
Madison Liddy
— April
Rance Howard
— Chuck
Sam Borowski
— Man Making out with Girlfriend at fraternity party
Paul Sorvino
— Himself
Alex Hyde-White
— Preacher
Chuck McCann
— Manny Melowitz
Bill Sorvino
— Arresting Officer
Mary Dimino
— Gina Palma
Duane Whitaker
— Intimidating Inmate
Jan Rooney
— Janet
Mara New
— Muriel
Eric Stein
— Clarence
Jessica DiCicco
— Receptionist
Clint Howard
— Cliff
Michael Maugeri
— Hearse Driver
Dick Contino
— Himself
Hal Williams
— Resident Playing Cards at Casino Night
Harold Sylvester
— Grim Interviewer
Efram Potelle
— Serious Interviewer
Janelle Gaeta
— Girl Making out with Boyfriend at Party
Kevin Rushing
— Large African American Man
Jen Johnson
— Typing Bikini Girl