David Gobble
— Rick Whitehead
Fard Muhammad
— Carlos
Allison Pregler
— Elizabeth Howard Grace
Rob Walker
— Santa Christ
Doug Walker
— Samuel Tobinski / Kendrick Tobinski
Malcolm Ray
— The Devil
Brad Jones
— Willy Whitehead
Brian Lewis
— Burton Burpo
Zachary La Voy
— Ranger Buckman
Tamara Lynn Chambers
— Darlene
Sarah Gobble
— God
Aidan Bart
— Young Rick
Nash Bozard
— Terry
Flynn Hanners
— Father Jenkins
Jillian Zurawski
— Rick's Mom
Ed Smith
— Praying Man
Christopher Proffitt
— Gabe
Trevor Ollech
— Ned and Stacey
Brian Irving
— Internet Neckbeard
Sean Wilburn
— TV Cameraman
Ed Glaser
— TV Producer
Joe Means
— Heaven's Stage Manager
Allison Means
— Dana
Tia Spencer
— Maid of Honor
Scott Spencer
— Christopher Hitchens (voice)
Rob Sheehan
— Internet Commentor 1
Cory Lyle Vinderslev
— Internet Commenter 2
Eric Gaspard
— Internet Commentor 3
Ryan Mitchelle
— Internet Commentor 4
Michael Schiciano
— Internet Commenter 5