Vic Reeves
— Jim
Bob Mortimer
— Bob
Simon Day
— Slow PC (as Tommy Cockles)
Brendan O'Sullivan
— Slow Burglar
Wilfred Harrison
— Jim's Father
Russell Dennett
— Electric Russell
Paul Whitehouse
— Spencer Pedal
Phil Oakey
— Specialist Meat Seller
David Boyce
— Alien leader
Richard Ashton
— Tall Alien
Colin Burgess
— Short Alien
Ina Clough
— Seepage Seller
Harry Betty
— Boiled Onion Seller
Louise Yates
— Receptionist
John Thomson
— Policeman 1
Mike Wattan
— Policeman 2
Kate Layden
— Queen Alien