Tom Arnold
— Bill Williams
Eric Gores
— Aaron Roman
Linda Hamilton
— Susan Mandeville
Joe Mantegna
— Davis Roman
Henry Winkler
— Johnny Bernstein
Richard Edson
— Guy Prince
Shannon Elizabeth
— Shelby Roman
Brenda Strong
— Bonnie Roman
Arielle Kebbel
— Arielle
Shaquille O'Neal
— Shaq
Bill Goldberg
— Bill Goldberg
Pat O'Brien
— Pat O'Brien
Eric Dickerson
— Coach
Charles Napier
— Eyepatch-wearing Two Spies boss
Lisa Wilhoit
— Fake Reporter No. 2
Melissa Price
— Melissa
Brianne Davis
— Maria
Melissa Steach
— Receptionist
Jamie Lee Curtis
— Jamie Lee Curtis
Penelope Spheeris
— Penelope Spheeris
Arnold Schwarzenegger
— Arnold
Yvette Nicole Brown
— Bunny
Gabrielle Sanalitro
— Val (As Gabrielle Sanalitro)
Alejandro Patiño
— Apartment Manager
Branden Morgan
— Fake Reporter #1
Mark Chadwick
— Blind Guy