Chris Musselwhite
— Self
Kate Cullinane
— Gimli
Robin Renny
— Self
Andrew McSweeney
— Francais Tallywacker
Adam van Gelder
— John Spate
Adrian Bowley
— Shirley Major
Brian Sibley
— Self
Anna Greyson
— Interviewer
Kristan Ross
— Little Girl / Native
Glen O'Dare
— Thug
Julian van Gelder
— Self
Gavin Henry
— Savage Henry
Katie McQueen
— Hollywood Executive
Jules Ross
— Fake Shemp / Soundman / Pub Folk
Karen van Gelder
— Croydon Film Commissioner
Simon Van Gelder
— Dead Soundman / Policeman / Ghost
Paul J. Hayes
— Soundman 2
Ian McKellen
— Self
Ramon Rivero
— Self
Michael Howard
— Pub Folk
Alice Horner
— Alice (John's Girlfriend)
Catherine Boaks
— Pub Folk
Alex Panayi
— Pub Folk
Alex Cox
— Native
Katherine Gwilt
— Native
Theo Ross
— Native
Adrienne Cluer
— Self
John Washtell
— Wooly Liberal (Definitely himself)
David Renny
— Headteacher
Keith Pettitt
— Dancing Man